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Adult Children of Alcoholics

Many children of alcoholics or dysfunctional households  have  several characteristics in common, as the result of being brought up in an dysfunctional household.  

If you feel isolated and uneasy with other people, especially authority figures. To protect yourself, you became a people-pleasers, even though you lost your own identity in the process. All the same you would mistake any personal criticism as a threat. You either became an alcoholics (or practiced another addictive behavior) yourself, or married one, or both. If not that, you developed another compulsive personality, like…. becoming an workaholic perhaps. All this in order to fulfill your expectation of abandonment.

You live life from the standpoint of a victim. You have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility, you preferred to be concerned with others rather than yourself. You got guilt feelings when you stand up for yourself rather than giving in to others. Thus, you became a reactor, rather than an actor, letting others take the initiative. You developed a dependent personality, terrified of abandonment, willing to do almost anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to be abandoned emotionally, again. Yet you kept choosing insecure relationships because they matched your childhood relationship with alcoholic or dysfunctional parents.

You  learned to keep your feelings down as  a child and kept them buried as well as an adult. As a result of this conditioning,  you confused love with pity, tending to love those you could rescue. Even more self-defeating, you became addicted to excitement in all your affairs, preferring constant upset to workable relationships.

This is a description, not an indictment.

If you recognize yourself in part of this description and want help.